Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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