I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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