i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
