i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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