I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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