So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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