Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
