obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
