can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
pop tarts are not kleenex
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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