for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
