i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Randomize
