remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
