Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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