He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
