dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
