Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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