She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
