I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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