I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize