I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
