would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
