Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
