Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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