Please, let me fuck your mom
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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