you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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