Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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