Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
