For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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