so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
