I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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