Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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