how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
