Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
