I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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