Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
