I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
