11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
