Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize