I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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