Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize