Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
