You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
