it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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