ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i came on her dog
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
