he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
