I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My balls are so social today.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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