That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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