At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
