Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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