i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize