In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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