Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
