Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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