I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize