I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
