Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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