True but thats because hes a fetus.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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