If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
