I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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