we have officially lost it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
