I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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