i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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