Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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