You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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