I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
