i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
