I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
