She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
