singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
